Tag Book One

It’s a beautiful Sunday evening. I spent my morning reading my first Danielle Steel book, The Sins of the Mother, which I couldn’t put down. Then I found out that my story in Book One of the Faith Series is finally on the Main Spotlight to be critiqued. Furthermore, I received an awesome message on my scratchpad that another writer really loves my work. A few minutes later I was notified by email that I had my first critique, and it was an awesome critique that put a great big smile on my face. Reading this critique confirmed that my writing is getting better, I’m learning more about my style of writing, and others are loving my story thus far, and is looking forward to reading more from Book One, Faith Series. This is very encouraging and enlightening! I received my second critique which was great as well, but I need to use more description in my writing, which I lack. I can’t wait to get my writing fingers moving and grooving so I can become a better writer through the Faith Series Writing Journey.

I look forward to rewriting the ending to my first chapter, rewriting the first part of chapter two which has been critiqued by a different site and adding the second part of chapter two with the chapter two revision. Once completely revised and combined, I will submit the entire chapter two for reviews.

Moving on….it’s September. School has started for my children about a week ago. I’ve been beyond busy with appointments between my children and I. Not to mention, starting my second business, handmade products, such as beaded jewelry. I’ve had some challenges along the way with taking several different medications to manage my Bipolar Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, Rape Trauma Syndrome, and Depression while still dealing with PCOS. These complications has caused me to become manic because my insurance won’t approve the medication that really works for me.

I’ve been making decisions that haven’t been in our best interest. In the process, I’ve realized abusers cannot be helped by their victim.…To this day I continue to live with the side effects.

People cannot change their ways unless they’re aware of what they’re doing to others; understanding their behavior is changing and effecting their livelihood, including their career; and they have a willing heart to want to seek professional help. I don’t know what God is doing, but I know that prayers speak volumes and anything is possible through prayer and seeking a relationship with the Lord.

What do you do when your back is against the wall? When you think about what is in the best interest of your children, as well as yourself, you’re doomed, if you do, and doomed, if you don’t. Writing really is a major outlet to help me express my world from a realistic literary fiction perspective.

During my travels on the train, I’ve been focused on writing more to Book One. Since my story hits so close to home, I decided to make a few changes in regards to my characters. I also chose to add chapter three to be the ending of chapter two. My chapter four is now chapter three. Chapter five is now chapter four. Chapter six moves into chapter four. The reason for all of these changes is because I wanted the plots to stay in the same chapter oppose to splitting the plots. These changes make for a better story flow, and fits my style of writing.

Three days ago, I started writing chapter five, but I’m not finished. I’m hoping to write chapter five and six by the end of the Labor Day holiday. The story is moving in so many different directions due to Faith meeting new people, falling into unexpected situations beyond her control, and on the flip side, making decisions within her control which were not too street smart.

As a writer, I’m hoping to show my readers how life can instantly take many different turns in less than one year. More so, Book One really sheds light on the start of abusive relationships, and a young woman who is dealing with multiple victimization. Book One is really going to open up the eyes of many, and I’m pretty sure others can relate to Faith and realize that they are not alone.

Our career goals have a great impact on the decisions that we make. These choices can also hinder our goals in the long run. Faith shows the reader how her career moves has made and broke her, all at the same time.

If this is speaking to your spirit, please share your story with my blog readers. I would love to hear from others. Remember, sharing your story could help others who are currently going through similar experiences.

I welcome words of encouragement, uplifting, and spiritual guidance as I currently get over this hurdle that we’re facing. I appreciate any comments. Thank you!

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After having such a very rough day the other day, I thought I would end that night with sharing the last five critiques that I received from the extension to Chapter One in my Faith Series, Book One. When reviewing my critiques, I hope to help others who may be having similar writing issues.

Originally, this extension was going to be my second chapter, but after writing much, I realized that this content flows better with my first chapter. I have already started writing my second chapter, which I look forward to sharing soon, once I’m ready to submit for review.

Looking at the date, I realized that I’m actually past the deadline date that I set for myself to have chapter one completed. I’ve been so busy with work these past few weeks that I haven’t had a chance to focus on my writing. No more excuses! I gotta meet these deadlines regardless! Anyhow, I’m not going to post the entire critique, but only the review content that I want to address.

First Critique

Sometimes I would drink too much just so I would be too drunk to fight back. Saying no to men never stopped the vultures in sheep clothing from wearing out my jewel. It was easier for me to cope with being in powerless situations opposed to fighting an uncontrolled battle that I have never won.
I would be careful about getting melodramatic here. You make these sweeping and very serious statements with no backdrop for the reader. I know you’re trying to keep the reader interested, but don’t overdo it.

Really? Do you think I overdid it here? I absolutely love how I worded this paragraph. I hit it right on the nail. Other reviewers liked this paragraph. So I need help from others. What do you think?

After driving around in circles, I finally found a parking space a few blocks away. It’s wasn’t too far from U Street. I took one last look in the mirror for a make-up check. I freshened my lips with glossy natural lip stick. I’m puckered up! I blew a kiss at the mirror and made that, “I know I’m sexy” look. I checked to ensure my windows were closed. I looked around constantly as I exited my sedan.

It’s => It

Of course practice makes one a better writer, but one suggestion is to put a little more visualization into your narrative. Draw the reader in a little better. For example,
I blew a kiss at the mirror. She looked back at me hot and sexy!

Don’t waste a lot of words on mundane descriptions. Make your writing efficient. Does closing the windows and checking constantly as you exit really have a lot of meaning to the story. I would take a little different tack. Maybe re-emphasize how she narrowly misses getting hit by a passing car or some guys go by and yell out something making the reader see that she looks hot.

This has been my biggest problem….writing with more visualization. What helps you write in a visualized manner? I’m still having a lot of issues telling instead of showing.

I think you basically create an interesting backdrop where the reader wants more information on the story which is good. But it seems a bit awkward at times. One suggestion would be to work on how you tell the story. This is where your style will emerge. So rather than just a narration of events and dialogue, draw the reader more into your imagination. It is difficult, but try removing the adverbs in the dialogue description. Use action and dialogue more to convey the image of the characters and backdrop you want to elicit from the reader. Hope my critique is of some help to you.

All I can say about this…I really need help in this area. He hit it right on the nail. The critique was very helpful. This chapter one extension is definitely in need of a major rewrite. I don’t want to put all 5 critiques on the same posting so I will post one critique per day. I hope this was helpful to you as much as it was to me. In regards to my questions, if anyone is able to get back to me, that would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

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